I'm sorry
by nukagirl
Summary: Cody is being bullied and Zack is too frightened to stand up for him. Will Zack's fear cause him to lose his brother?


I'M SORRY

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody

**I don't own any of the characters or the Suite Life of Zack and Cody**

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I walked behind Cody, keeping my distance. I saw that he was slightly limping. I sighed and shock my head, hoping to rid myself of guilt.

Once again the Drew Crew had cornered Cody during school and took all his money and then kicked him hard in the leg, causing him to fall over.

I had watched from afar, hurrying over to him when the Drew Crew had walked off.

I don't get involved because…well…I am afraid I'll get beaten up as well.

Cody told me to piss off and then hopped off to the toilets.

I watched as Cody walked into the Hotel and followed suit. Cody was in the elevator before I even got past the front desk. I sighed again and walked over to the candy counter.

"Hey Zack" Maddie said, smiling.

"Hey" I said sadly.

"What's wrong? Did you have a fight with Cody?" she asked, noticing Cody's absence. I shrugged,

"I don't really know"

"Well, I'm sure we well sort it out" Maddie told me. I nodded and then went up to the suite.

Cody wasn't in the living room so I walked into our room. He was in there, sitting on his bed and nursing his leg.

His leg made me wince. There was a large gash on his shin and dried blood all over his trousers and shoes.

"Hey" I said. He didn't say anything. I sat on the edge of the bed.

"You should really tell someone about that" I told him.

"What, and get bullied even worse, I'm not stupid" Cody said. His voice was chocked with the sound of tears.

"Maybe you should stand up to them" I suggested. He looked at me, evilly. I flinched at the look.

"Why don't you stand up to them? You are me older brother" Cody told me. I winced again. He never called me his older brother, just his twin, unless he wanted to be protected.

When I didn't reply, he said,

"But you won't, because you don't care about me, just yourself"

"Cody…" I started but he got up and tried to leave. I grabbed him by his arm.

"Let go off me" he shouted.

"No" I said, "I do care"

"NO, you don't, as long as your ok, who cares about the loser twin, the outcast twin," he yelled, "it has always been the same, I do your homework, gave you money, tidy our room, do all the work, just as long as your okay, I have to suffer, I do everything for you but you do nothing for me, not even when I need it the most"

I felt ashamed.

"Cody"

"LET GO OFF ME" he yelled.

"No" I said again.

Suddenly, Cody spine around and punched me in the face. I fell to the floor with a cry of surprise, and tasted blood in me mouth. Shocked, I looked up at Cody but he had already left the room, slamming the door behind him.

I know he was anger, but that was no reason to do that, to his own brother.

I felt my nose, it was bleeding.

I closed my eyes and laid down on the floor.

I'm so stupid.

An hour later, I come out of my room. I was no longer bleeding but my nose was red and my lip fat.

"Honey, what happened?" my mum asked, concerned.

"Nothing" I lied. She gave me I-wasn't-born-yesterday look.

"Honey, tell me"

"Ok-ok" I sighed; I could feel Cody's eyes on me.

"I was walking home from school and someone punched me, asking for money"

"Oh, sweetheart" Mum said, "Cody get your brother an icepack" Cody didn't for a moment but then got up and went to the freezer. My mum bent down to my level, looking at my face.

Cody glared at me as he passed the icepack. A look that caused me more pain then his punch.

"We should call the police" my Mum said, picking up the phone.

"Don't bother, mum, I didn't see their face and they didn't take anything" I told her, panicking.

She tightened her lips together but put the phone down.

"Ok, but you two are to walk home together from now on" she said.

After dinner, Cody went straight to bed, not even having dessert.

"What is wrong with him?" My mum asked, concerned.

I just shock my head.

When we were young, Cody would have lots of nightmares, and he would always curl into my bed with me and cry into my shoulder, while I hugged him

If we had a fight that day, they would nearly always by my fault, then I would curl into his bed and say I as sorry.

That night I sat in the edge of his before I climbed in.

"Cody" I whispered into his ear.

"Leave me alone" he snapped.

"Cody, I'm sorry" I said.

"Leave me alone, Zack" he said, sitting up.

"Cody, listen to me" I begged.

"No" he said and then left the bedroom. I know better then to go after him so I just went to my bed and waited for him to come back.

But he didn't.

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The next day, he had left before I had even got up, which is why I was late.

Mum had gone to rehearsals early on Thursday and Cody normally woke me up.

I didn't have time for breakfast as I run out the door.

I was an hour late for school.

"Zackary Martin, what pathetic excuse do you have for me today?" asked my English teacher asked as I run through the door.

I didn't bother to answer and I sat down next to Cody.

"Thanks for waking me" I hissed at him.

"I'm not your alarm clock" he hissed back.

That day didn't get much better.

In science, Cody refused to pair with me and paired up with Tapeworm.

"But I'm your lab partner" I said, angrily.

"Not anymore" he said back and I moved to sit with Bob.

By lunch time, I was starving. So I sat down to my meatloaf. It was then I realised that Cody was not in the dinner room.

The Drew Crew come in laughing and I know that Cody had no dinner money again.

I groaned and shoved my dinner down and went to find him.

I went to the boy's toilets and heard him crying. He tired to stop the sobs when he heard someone come in, but it didn't work.

"Cody" I said, quietly. He tried to stop his tears again, giving out sharp breaths.

He opened the door and then walked out, eyes red, without even looked at me.

The rest of the day was a blur. I was caught up in my own thoughts.

Cody had never been this angry with me before. It was always like he hated me.

I spent the most of last period watching him. He looked tried and his eyes were still red.

After school, I walked behind him again. He wasn't limping this time but he kept on clutching his arm.

"Cody" I called out to him, but he kept on walking. I run to catch up with him.

"Cody" I said as I came level with him. He didn't say anything.

"Cody, speak to me" I begged, grabbing his arm.

He winced and pulled his arm from my grip.

"Cody" I said again. I didn't really know what to say.

I just stood there as he walked off.

That was a week ago now and Cody hasn't spoken to me since.

He stopped waking me up in the mornings, stopped cooking for me when mum's not here, stopped helping me with my homework.

I don't mind these things.

I have brought myself an alarm clock and learnt to deal with my brunt cooking. I have just managed with the homework.

It's him not talking to me which I can't cope with.

I miss the sound of his voice, his laughter, and his complaints. I miss him not being my brother.

Every morning Cody is gone before I wake up and during school I don't see him, part from lessons.

I know the bully is getting worse. They started to verbally abuse him as well.

Everyday, Cody would have shouts of,

"Loser",

"Nerd" and

"No one likes you" thrown at him.

Still I said nothing; I just looked at Cody as he passed me by in the hallways.

I don't know how Cody hides all the bruises and cuts that he got from the Drew Crew.

I remember when we were little, when we were fighting, I would hit him and he would go crying to our mum, screaming,

"Mummy, Zack hit me" but he never had any proof because there was never a mark. If Cody had done that to me then I would have came up in a massive bruise.

Cody never marked or come up in bruises, but it still hurt.

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One night, I had a nightmare, which is very unlike me. I can't remember what it was about but I do remember Cody's cold, dead eyes starting at me.

I had woke with a start and automatically looked over to Cody's bed. He was in ti, his stomach raising and setting gently.

But his face was screwed up, he was in the middle of a nightmare.

I wanted to go over and hold him, to say it was ok.

But half of this was my fault, if only I was brave enough. I sighed and fell back to sleep.

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The next day, at the end of the third period, just before Lunch, I followed Cody out.

Before long, the Drew Crew had caught up with him.

"Hey, Loser, have you got the money?" Drew asked.

"No" Cody said in a small voice.

"Don't lie to us, we can get it out of you" Drew smirked. One of the larger boys punched Cody in the stomach and he fell to the floor.

"Why can't you leave me alone?" Cody asked, tears springing to his eyes.

That did it for me, the beg in his voice and the tears specked something in me and I run to his defence as the Drew Crew closed in on him.

"Leave him alone" I growled at them causing them all to laugh.

"Why, it's Clone number 1" Drew laughed.

I clutched my firsts and stood over Cody.

"So, the big brother has come to protect his cry baby little brother" Drew said, in a baby's voice.

Before I could do anything, the bigger boy punched me, actual like he had Cody.

I fell over backwards, over Cody, winded.

They all laughed.

"Ha, he fells just like his loser brother" the big boy laughed. They were closing in again and I got to my feet.

"Don't call him that" I said, fiercely.

"What, a loser? But he is one" Drew told me, grinning ear to ear.

This time it was Drew that aimed a punch at me, but before he could reach his target, a voice called out,

"Hey, leave them alone" I turned around. It was Max and Tapeworm.

"Oh, look, it is the school's original losers" Drew laughed.

Tapeworm and Max come up to the group.

"What you going to do?" laughed someone else in the group.

"Stick for our friends" Tapeworm told them.

"You think you two could stop all of us?" Drew laughed.

"No, but we could" come Bob's voice. I turned around again.

Bob was leading a huge group of people towards us. There was all of mine and Cody's friends and the Drew Crew's victims, past and present.

They circled the Drew Crew and me and Cody. The Drew Crew was outnumbered, 3-1.

"All of you are going to fight us" Drew asked, looking slightly nervous.

"We are willing to if you don't stop bulling people" Max told him.

"Yeh, just leave everyone alone unless you do want a fight" Bob said.

The Drew Crew looked around at everyone, who looked fierce and ready to fight.

"Ok-ok" Drew said and then led his group away.

When they where out of earshot, everyone started to cheer.

"Well done, that was wonderful" I told Max.

"I know" she said back. I turned to Cody, who was still on the floor. I hold out a hand to help him up.

He glared at me, got up on his own and said,

"It took you long enough" he then walked off.

I stared at him, feeling…well…alone.

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That afternoon, after school, I found Cody in the bedroom, sitting on his bed.

"Hey" I said, sitting next to him. Cody didn't say anything, but he didn't walk off either, an improvement.

"Look, I'm sorry, for not standing up for you sooner" I said, suddenly, "I was scared, but I know now that I should do anything for my twin"

I was looking at him, tears started to fell down his pale face.

"Cody, I'm sorry" I whispered. He shock his head.

"It's not that" he cried.

"Then what is it" I asked.

He shock his head again, shutting his eyes.

"You're my twin, you should know these things" he said.

"What should I know? Cody, tell me" I said, desperately. He got up and I grabbed his arm. He pulled away in pain, like I had burnt him.

"Cody, what's wrong?" I asked, concerned. I then grabbed his arm again and pulled his sleeve up.

I grasped when I saw his arm.

Thin scars were all along it, some were blooding. It looked like someone had put a knife to him, over and over again.

I sensed there were more so I slowly undid Cody's shirt and slipped it off his shoulders.

What I saw made me grasped again and step back.

All over Cody's stomach and chest were the same long scars. Some healed over, some open with dried blood around them.

"The Drew Crew didn't do this to you did they?" I whispered. Cody shock his head and tears formed in my eyes.

"You did this, didn't you?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"DIDN'T YOU!" I yelled after he didn't give me a reply. Tears were pouring from my eyes.

"Yes" he mumbled.

I sat on the bed and cried freely, something I hadn't done since mum and dad had split up.

"The was like a relief for me, it made me feel better" Cody told me, quietly, "It was the only comfort I had"

I closed my eyes, letting the salty tears run into my open eyes.

"Your one of the reasons I started to cut" he said, loudly and angrily.

I sobbed harder.

"Cody, I'm…"

"Sorry, yah, well so am I, sorry I have you as a brother" he yelled at me and then run from the room.

I don't know how long I stayed there and cried. It could have been minuets. It could have been hours. It could have even been days for all I know.

I hated myself so much. How could I have not seen that Cody was in so much pain that he had started to slice himself open?

I could have stopped this, if only I had stayed by Cody, and stand up for him in the first time, none of this would have happened.

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"Zack, what is wrong?" my mum asked as I walked out of my bedroom.

"Nothing" I said, sitting down at the dinner table.

"You've been crying" she said.

Damn, Cody can hide this much better then me.

"It's nothing, just a cold" I said, picking at my food.

"Your not eating" my mum said.

"Not hungry" was my simple answer.

"I'm going to bed" I declared two minuets later, pushing my food away.

"Honey, are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeh, just don't feel that good" I said before disappearing into our room.

As I got undressed, I saw the mark that the Drew Crew had left on me.

A big purple bruise on my stomach where the boy had punched me.

I sighed; a mark had not come up on Cody. But, as I felt it and winced in pain, I thought Cody must be in a lot more pain.

I got into bed and fell asleep.

About two hours later, I woke up panting.

I looked over to Cody's bed and saw Cody's shape.

I got out of the bed and walked over there.

"Cody" I whispered. He didn't say anything but I know he was awake.

"Cody" I said again.

"Yeh" he mumbled.

"Cody, I had a nightmare" he turned over and looked at me.

"Really?" he asked. I nodded and climbed into his bed.

"I find you d…died and everyone kept on saying it was my fault-" I whispered. He was looking at me,

"-You then come back to life and pulled out a knife and started to cut off your hands and arms and legs-" I was crying now,

"-You kept on saying it was my fault and I kept on screaming sorry, but no one listened to me-" I was crying so hard now, that I couldn't see,

"-Finally, you can't off your head and you were dead again, in pieces"

Cody didn't say anything, but pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything" I cried, making his pyjama top wet.

Still he said nothing. I cringed to him, like if I let go he would be gone forever.

"I'm sorry" I kept on repeating.

"Shh. It's ok" he said at last, stroking my hair.

I buried my face into his neck and cried harder.

"I didn't mean to hurt you" I cried, "I should have stand up for you, I should have protected you, I should have seen your pain"

"I forgive you, Zack" Cody whispered into my ear.

"But I don't, I can't forgive myself, I hurt you so bad" I told him, "Please, please Cody, stop cutting yourself" I begged him.

"I well Zack, I will, I promise" he said softly, still stroking my hair.

Slowly, very slowly, my crying creased, but we still laid in each others arms.

And it was like that we fell asleep, once again brothers.

Once again twins.

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**Please review and tell me what you think. **


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